Fear of the unknown weighs on Harris voters. How to persevere.

Isolation only serves to encourage anxiety. For relief, share your concerns with someone you trust. Relief is learning that you are not alone.

Bethany Rentsch
| Special to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

The the elections were tumultuous and left a heavy residual anxiety for some. If you count among the 70 million Americans who voted in hopes of a different resultyou might shoulder some of the this anxiety.

Anxiety is driven by uncertainty. This is not new; the future is always uncertain. The following are insights on how to persevere in the face of what lies ahead:

Refrain from guilt, practice acceptance and be aware

First, identify the problem. When we perceive a threat, fear sets in. Fear is dangerous. It comes down to reaction versus responsiveness because our decision making is less accurate when we are afraid. If you call it fear, fine. And, remember that emotions—while valid—are rarely objectively accurate.

Refrain from blaming, recognizing that the problem is not one person or group of people. This is unfair. It is more helpful to view the behavior as the problem. Behavior can change. Start with your own to regain a sense of control. The following steps are about how to use your behavior to help your brain.

Second, practice acceptance. The United States is a republic, whose defining characteristic is power held by the citizens, who in turn elect representatives. The Declaration of Independence is clear: governments should be established “by deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” We had the opportunity to choose between two paths and one prevailed. This is the democratic process. It is fundamental to the American identity.

So are civil liberties and civil rights. Continued adherence to both is essential in the coming years to ensure that there are opportunities for continued political engagement. Bearing this in mind, the acceptance encouraged here is for the result – not an agenda, nor the degradation of constitutional norms.

Third, pursue awareness. There is anxiety and there is restlessness. Maybe it’s also despair, which includes helplessness. Whatever you feel, don’t push it away or hide it. It might also be surprising what you feel. Take your time to work through it.

We have all survived a singular experience by now. Fred Rogers by Mr. Rogers’ quarters said the same, “No one else can live the life you live.” This means that we are the experts of our own lives and emotional experiences.

Avoid isolation, find common ground and move on

The fourth step is the search for belonging. Isolation only serves to encourage anxiety. For relief, share your concerns with someone you trust. Relief is learning that you are not alone; it is the exhalation and it is the lowering of the shoulder that follows.

In contrast, invalidation and minimization are not appropriate. If your typical supports can’t appear in a healthy way, find different pillars to lean on that are able to hold you all empathetically. If you’re troubled by a sudden emotional absence from someone you disagree with, it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Instead, see it as an opportunity to present yourself more fully.

Fifth, find common ground. While our passions and disappointments may catalyze feelings of defeat or bewilderment, we would do well to remember that those feelings are within us all, regardless of political preference. As much as we have a right to complain, those who voted differently have a right to celebrate.

Mutual respect is the expectation – and the right thing to do. Respect for one another is an added layer of what it means to be an American. For 33 years, Fred Rogers taught children to “Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us gave… just one kind word to another person.”

And finally, decide to move on. Anxiety is the cornerstone of change. We are in the throes of change. The easiest way out of any suffering is through. Face the uncertainty with those willing to walk with you and worthy to lift your spirits.

Be a Helper: Get involved in organizations that make a difference

Use what you feel as an impetus to be kind in bigger ways. The concept of secondary beneficiary holds that helping others means helping yourself. Join local initiatives, build strong communities. When Fred Rogers was young, his mother told him, “Get helpers. You will always find people to help you.” Be one of them.

Civil society is strong in the United States. The American Civil Liberties Union is an example. His ability to hold people and organizations accountable is strong.

If you are worried about conflict, exude equanimity. Those who struggle with kindness are left with a poor reflection of themselves. This reflection is visible to the public and public scrutiny is strong.

Freedom is what you do with what happened to you. Starting with your behavior is the first and best way to communicate what you want to see from others. It’s the golden rule, really, and practicing it means increasing kindness wherever you go.

Bethany Rentsch is from the Oshkosh-Rosendale area. Romana Ottolino, from Seattle, is also a collaborator.