11 phrases that put fake people in their place

Protecting energy and cultivating a strong inner circle revolves around healthy boundaries. What kind of respect are you willing to demand? What kind of energy or language will you not tolerate? It all starts with recognizing patterns of narcissistic or bad behavior and then reaffirming your expectations.

Fortunately, there are several ways to spot fake people in your life who tend to be selfish, insecure, and sometimes narcissistic. a study in Personality and individual differences. By using phrases that put fake people in their place, you can strengthen important boundaries, pour into your own self-esteem, and protect yourself from their negative energy.

Here are 11 phrases that put fake people in their place

1. “Can you repeat that?”

Two women argue with each other on a porch. MDV Edwards | Shutterstock.com

works from a place of inherent insecurityfake people often won’t respond or repeat something they know is incredibly hurtful or upsetting if there’s a crowd. They are more concerned with external validation and asserting their superiority by getting others to endorse their toxic commentary.

Ask them to repeat these comments, even if they are just passive condescension. Not only do you take away their misplaced power over a conversation that is meant to be balanced and productive, you remind them of your humanity and your ability to stand up.

2. “Did you mean to sound condescending?”

Woman looking upset while talking to a friend. Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock.com

A tried and true way to protect yourself from fake people and put them in their place is to remind them of the respect you expect from every conversation. Fake people will take advantage of the people around themeven with something as simple as a hurtful self-preserving comment that they know they won’t get called out on.

Don’t be the person who sits with those comments and their negative energy, dismissing your own emotions for the sake of “keeping the peace.” Instead, reaffirm your boundaries, give them a chance to apologize or rephrase their comment, and demand the respect you deserve.

3. “You seem upset about something”

Blonde woman looking sad talking to a man. SynthEx | Shutterstock.com

Conformable trauma coach Manya Wakefieldfake people, especially those with narcissistic tendencies, tend to subdue blame and victimize themselves when “called out” for hurtful comments and behaviors. Instead of falling into their defensive trapconsider getting out of the way in conversations first by addressing their hostility with a simple phrase like “You seem upset about something.”

Is there really something they are angry about or are they spewing negative energy from a toxic, selfish or malicious place? Remind them that you have the ability to notice their negative energy and behavior, call them out, and humanize yourself in the face of their falsehoods.

4. “Don’t talk to me like that”

The woman turned and held out her hand to a friend. Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com

Creating space and embracing solitude as peace can be incredibly beneficial practices for people navigating toxic relationships with fake people. Like many of the other phrases that put fake people in their place, they tend to rely on confrontation or direct communication to “call out” negative comments and behaviors, but this one can be more passive.

You can take up space, walk away, and refuse to engage with someone when they target you negatively. Fake people and fake relationships can leave intense scars on our hearts and peace, accordingly motivational speaker and author Liane Holliday Willeyso don’t let their guilt of distancing yourself stop you from growing that intentional space just for you.

5. “Can we find common ground without insults?”

Woman looking angry while talking on phone and looking at laptop. Physics | Shutterstock.com

While it may seem impossible to some, especially those currently in a toxic relationship or friendship, you are in control to create the reality you dream of. If your friends let you down, your partner relies on hurtful comments to assert their dominance, or you’re constantly dating fake people in your life, you have the power to find peace.

It starts with self-esteem and confidence. Adopt practices that secure your own identity, emotional health, and well-being so you can approach these hurtful conversations with strong expectations about the behavior you tolerate.

Everyone yearns find common experiences and interests with each other, so finding common ground can be beneficial. But remember to consider those boundaries and expectations as well, never sacrificing respect for the sake of a wrong connection.

6. “No”

Man looking angry while talking on the phone. Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com

Especially for false friends and relationships that tend to take advantage of your kindness or empathy, consider using this simple statement to set a limit. You will not tolerate disrespect, you will not be used, and you will not continue to celebrate the negative energy and mood swings of a fake person. Remember: “no” is a complete sentence.

Conformable psychologist dr. Sabrina Romanoffit is important to use such boundaries with fake people, especially if your relationship with them it started out as apparently healthy and happy. As their behavior becomes more toxic and our lives are negatively affected by their actions, reminding them (and yourself) of what you will tolerate can protect you from an ugly, resentful experience.

7. “A true friend wouldn’t say something so hurtful”

Mother comforts her upset younger daughter on the sofa. DimaBerlin | Shutterstock.com

While setting boundaries and “protecting the quiet” seem like grandiose practices that require a lot of thought, energy, and time to affirm in your relationships, the truth is that you can stop the toxic behavior of fake friends and partners right now. Don’t be afraid to call them both out on their behavior and refuse to apologize for a painful public insult.

Conformable clinical psychologist and author Alice Boyes Ph.D.leading with self-compassion and empathy in your life can get you far, especially when it comes to protecting your emotional health amid relationship challenges and conflict. Instead of appeasing the demands and needs of others, work to achieve a level of self-confidence that motivates you to better set your own boundaries.

8. “That’s How I Feel”

Two young people having a serious discussion together. Motor Movies | Shutterstock.com

Some people prefer a clean cut with a toxic friendtaking space to heal away from them and protecting their energy without the distraction or temptation of conflict. However, if you’ve just begun to recognize some toxic traits in a potentially fake person, especially one with whom you’ve already cultivated a relationship, consider sharing your emotions at this point.

It can help you express your emotions at hurtful behaviors or comments, rather than dismissing or pushing them away. It might not help them shift the blame further and it might lead to some defensiveness, but at least you were able to communicate how you felt and get it out.

That suggests life coach Laura K. Connelltoxic people can prompt us to shut down and shelter from open and honest communication – don’t let that energy get to you.

9. “This doesn’t seem productive to me right now”

Older woman looks angrily at her adult daughter. Physics | Shutterstock.com

Many false people will cause conflicts and disagreements only to victimize himself later. If you feel like your kindness is being taken advantage of or you’re constantly fighting a fake person in your life, take a step back. Remove yourself from the situation, remind them that you are only interested in productive and honest conversations, and let them calm down on their own terms.

When you are self-assured, confident and have high standards for yourself and your relationships, fake people have nothing to cling to. Let them figure out how to assert their false superiority in another way.

10. “You bring out the worst version of me”

Two young women looking angry sitting together on sofa. Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock.com

Sometimes honesty is the best policy, even in a relationship you know is headed for death. Friends should always bring out the best in you, at least every day. If you feel endlessly resentful, defensive and insecure around someone, the problem is probably not youbut the unhealthy dynamic you both contributed to in the relationship.

If your friends are looking for an explanation for why you need space—something you’re not obligated to give, but can help set an expectation—use a phrase like, “You bring out the worst version of my”. Not only does it help clear up misunderstandings in your relationship, with the potential to start over and mediate conflicts, it sets the tone for a separation.

Take care of yourself first and if that means ending a friendship or relationship in the name of healing, so be it.

11. “He was rude”

Two young women walking and talking together looking angry. MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com

Although someone’s negative energy may become second nature to them and they don’t really know that they are hurting others, many fake people feel better when they are putting others down. It’s an intentional choice I make in every conversation.

By pointing out their behavior and reaffirming a boundary of respect, you can break this habit—whether it’s intentional or not—and remind them that you need a certain kind of behavior in your relationships. That explains life coach Patricia Bonnardprotecting yourself from negative energy not only affects your self-esteem and relationships, but also your physical and mental health.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.